~A Reminder Post~ An Important Memo Regarding Bullying

Dear Bully,

I know you are hurting inside. I know that the little gratification you get from hurting others doesn’t last long enough to sustain you so you have to hurt others over and over again. Please hear me loud and clear when I tell you to go get help immediately. The decisions you are making today will affect you and those you are hurting for years to come. If you don’t feel you have the resources around you to get the help you need, email me and I will either help you find it or I will do everything I can to help you but your bullying ways must stop! Today!

Dear Person Being Bullied,

I know it sucks. I know that you believe entirely that the way you feel today will be the way that you feel always. I know that some of you have considered ending it all just to escape the pain and misery you endure daily. I know that getting through another moment often seems like an impossible task. I know, I know. I also know that it’s so important that you believe me when I say it will pass. It will get easier, it will get better and you will again be in control of your own life. I remember like it was yesterday the way it felt when my very best friend in the whole world decided that she wanted to be mean to me and helped to encourage all of her other friends and mine to join in the teasing and bullying. I remember how it hurt my parents who were best friends with her parents and my sister who was best friends with her sister. I remember wondering how someone could change so much and how people could be so mean. I also remember 3 years after the constant teasing, long after the healing began and I had many new friends to lift me up. I remember being in homeroom with my ex best friend/ex bully. I remember when we slowly started to talk again and I remember seeing the looks on her face and knowing that she truly regretted the fact that she ever hurt me. I remember the year book she signed for me that year with a full apology and a note taking full responsibility for everything that happened. I remember thinking fond thoughts about her and keeping her as a friend but not a close friend for years to come. I remember running into her around town and saying each time how we just had to make the time to get together and both of us genuinely meaning it. I remember that we never did clear our schedules enough to do that. I remember hearing that she was sick and then when she passed away. I did attend her memorial service and I did and still do mourn the loss of her. You never know how things will pan out.  Every year that passes it will get easier and easier to control your own life and decide your own destiny. Hang in there and do not give up. I was careful not to use the word “victim” and I am sincere when I say that everyday you are a survivor. Life won’t always be this way and know with certainty that it is very much a temporary situation even though it is one of the hardest things in the world to endure. Kids can be so cruel but remember they won’t always be kids and neither will you.

Dear Friends of Bullies,

Be very careful not to follow your bully friends just because it seems like the fun and easy thing to do. Always know that situations change and there is a strong possibility that the bully friend of yours and the kid they are teasing, will someday become friends and you will be stuck as the enemy. You, who jumped on the mean ship just because you didn’t want to have your own opinion, are left looking like a fool. I forgave my bully with everything in me because I knew how good she really was, but some of the people that joined her team did not hold such a warm place in my heart. I forgive them all because I’m an adult and because I had the support of friends and family while I was going through it, but I think deep down you don’t really forget. The truth is I have become friendly with almost everyone that started the fights with me either in person or on Facebook, but there are still a couple that I just don’t think deserve to have the gifts I have to share.  They happen to be the friends of the bullies.  These were just friends who didn’t have any idea why anyone was fighting but teased the hardest and fought the meanest anyway.  Be strong and be your own person and if you see your friend behaving in an unfavorable way, tell them so or walk away but don’t you dare join them.

Dear Families of Bullies,

What your loved one is going through today seems like the hardest and most unfair thing that they could ever have to be put through. When it is all said and done though, I want you to know that all they will really remember is your support. One morning before I went to school I found a little card from my dad on the table addressed to me. He had left it before he went to work and it was a letter telling me how great I am and how much he loves and supports me. It still sucked getting on that school bus but not like it usually did. If someone you love is being bullied, do try to take on the bully if you can but the most important thing you can do is bring love, support and a shoulder to lean on. Life goes on and they will thrive and become wonderful people but your help is very much needed.  I look forward to the day that bullying is a thing of the past for everyone but for now just support them and be the rock that they need you to be.

It is never too soon to put out what you want to get back. You must give good to get good and the responsibility lies with everyone when it comes to bullying.